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英语小笑话经典语录
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
英语小笑话经典语句
《漫话英语语法》，这本书虽不是很搞笑，但十分有趣生动，能教你轻松的学习英语！
135笑话大全去找找看
A teacher said to her class：
Who was the first man？
George Washington，a little boy shouted promptly．
How do you make out that George Washington was the first man？asked the teacher，smiling indulgently．
Because，said the little boy，he was first in war，first in peace，and first in the hearts of his countrymen．
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand．
Well， said the teacher to him，who do you think was the first man？
I don't know what his name was，said the larger boy，but I know it wasn't George Washington，ma’am，because the history book says George Washington married a widow，so，of course，there must have been a man ahead of him．
有个老师问班上的学生：
谁是第一个男人？
乔治·华盛顿，一个小男孩当即叫道。
你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？老师问道，宽容地微笑着。
小男孩说：因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。
这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。
那么，老师对他说，你认为谁是第一个男人呢？
我不知道他的名字，大点儿的男孩说，但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿娶了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。
A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced. She then asked, What do you do with your older goats in America?
A spry old gentleman answered, They send us on bus tours!
一群美国人乘长途汽车在荷兰旅游。他们在一个奶酪场停下来。一位年轻的导游带他们参观了奶酪制作的全过程，解释说用的是羊奶。
她指给这群人一个美丽的山坡，山坡上许多羊在吃草。对这些，她解释说，是放逐草地的老羊，它们已不能再产奶。她然后问道：在美国你们怎样处理老羊呢？
一位活泼的老绅士回答说：他们让我们乘车旅行！
http://news.iciba.com/1626/
这里有很多
O(∩_∩)O
参考资料：http://news.iciba.com/1626/
本回答被提问者采纳
Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents。”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered。 “You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly。”Here are tow cents more。But why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy。 ” 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆。”他回答说。“你真是一个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。 “再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?” “A kid bit me,”replied Ivan。 “Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother。 “I’d know him any where,”said Ivan。”I have his ear in my pocket。 ” 他的耳朵在我的衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。” Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow。 Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer。 Teacher: Please tell us。 Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow。 两只鸟 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？ 学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。 老师：请说说看。 学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。 The Fish Net "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings。 " replied the little girl。 鱼网 “你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？” 老师发问道。 “把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。”小女孩回答道。 The New Teacher George comes from school on the first of September。 "George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother。 "I didn‘t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too。 。。。。" 新老师 9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。 “乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？”妈妈问。 “妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。”。
朱波波，我好爱你~每天上数学课总有小笑话逗我们开心，不管你英语及格史有多辛酸，我们还是想成为你的呆瓜~（这句貌似没啥逻辑）好想把你的经典语录集成一本书啊像论语那样~总觉得遇到你是我们的福气~因为你，我想更努力想成为优秀率的分子!加油~[爱心]
I Caught Every Step
Mr. Brown was reading his evening paper when there came a tremendous banging down the stairs. He jumped up, ran to the hall, and discovered his schoolboy son sprawled on the floor.
Did you miss a step? asked his dad.
No, I caught every blessed one! came the bitter answered.
我一级也没漏
布朗先生在看晚报，忽然传来一阵什么东西从楼上摔下来的响声。他跳了起来，跑到厅里，发现自己上了学的儿子四角朝天地躺在地上。
你是不是踩漏了一级台阶？爸爸问。
不，我每一级都撞上了，一级也没有漏掉！儿子痛苦地回答。
Two Birds
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman siting on a bench, passionately kissing.
"Why don't you do that?" said the wife.
"Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!"
中文：
一对在公园散步的夫妇注意到坐在长凳上的那对年轻男女正在热烈地接吻。
“为什么你不能那样做呢？”妻子说。
“亲爱的，”她丈夫回答，“我又不认识那个女人！”
He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。